| Pain doesnt hurt...when its all you've ever felt... |
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[Wed, Aug 17th, 05 @ 11:09am] |
this is my last entry in this LJ. my new name is ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) br0ken_insidexx. </span>
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[Wed, Aug 17th, 05 @ 12:06am] |
*fuck users
*fuck liars
*fuck having friends who actually arent really your friends
*fuck school
*fuck teachers
*fuck periods
*fuck boys
*fuck homework
*fuck living
*fuck being alone
*fuck crying
*fuck people who care
*fuck people who pretend to care
*fuck being perfect
*fuck posers
*fuck caring what people think
*fuck caring all together
*fuck parents
*fuck loving someone who doesn't love you back
*fuck thinking about that someone everyday
*fuck pretty people
*fuck me
*fuck life
*fuck you
*fuck it all*
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[Tue, Aug 16th, 05 @ 11:17pm] |
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pokey barking |
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okay. i'm reposting this just bcuz it was RLY annoying with how huge this picture is.
( yay all better now! hehe )
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[Mon, Aug 15th, 05 @ 6:46pm] |
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runaround sue - del shannon |
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wow this week went by fast. lol
well becky stayed at my house from Thursday all the way until Sunday.
wat did we do....
oh. on thursday we just stayed in and just hung out. then on friday we went over justins, and just hung out with him for a little while. on saturday, it was just the two of us again. and then on sunday her grandma picked us up and we went to the state fair!!! lol.
We had soo much fun there. lol. omg! u kno those big cars that like ride over other cars and w.e? well me, becky, and justin rode on one of them. it was SO effin awesome! lol. omg...that was great. then we went to see a few animals. lol there was this one goat? or w.e lol. and it had these HUGE nuts and grandma was like omg! look at that goat! we all looked at it and me and becky just started laughing rly hard, and justins like "omg..." lol. it was great. then we went to the horse stables and there was this male horse that was kindda big if ya kno wat i mean. and i pointed that out to grandma, and she was like OMG. that was great.we just kept on laughing about that and then she brought up the goat. lmao.
then we went to watch this big band thingy, and they played New York, New York by Frank Sinatra. and Becky, Justin, Grandma and i were singing it. and like moving around in our seats and w.e and everyone was just sitting there it was rly funny. lol
THEN WE WENT TO THE JOSH GRACIN CONCERT!!! IT WAS SOOO FUN! LOL
well it kindda sucked. but it was still fun.
HE SANG ITS MY LIFE BY JON BON JOVI! OMG ME AND BECKY LIKE STARTED DANCING (it was before we left, so we were almost by the door. it was soo much fun! lol)IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!
then we went to becky's to let her dog out and then droped justin off at his house. then we went to mcdonalds to get something to eat and then we went to grandma's and then we watched some tv and then went to sleep.
on monday(today) we went to the mall. it was great. lol. becky got her homecoming dress and its SO pretty! lol. lol..she was making fun of me for getting a white dress cuz it looks so much like a wedding dress. and if aaron's gonna wear a black suit then were gonna look like a bride and groom. the funny thing is that i always wanted my bridesmaids to wear either a pink, lilac, or brown dress. and she has a brown dress for homecoming! lol. thats funny. anyway. she looks RLY pretty in her dress! lol. I CANT WAIT TILL HOMECOMING!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I'M SOO EFFIN EXCITED! LMAO! anyway i'm gonna bounce...bye!
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| stole this from jacob...lol |
[Mon, Aug 15th, 05 @ 6:35pm] |
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be my little baby - dirty dancing |
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THIS ONE ISN'T A JOKE, IT ACTUALLY HELPS YOU FIGURE OUT A COUPLE OF KEY THINGS,
Either grab a writing utensil and something to write on, or just remember your anwers.
Apparently this is 99.9% TRUE
Don't peek at the answers, cause it ruins it.
Have fun.
1) Write the name of a person of the opposite
sex.
2) Which is your favorite color out of red,
black, blue, green, yellow?
3) Your first initial?
4) Your month of birth?
5) Which color do you like more, black or white?
6) Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7) Your favorite number?
8) Do you like California or Florida more?
9) Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10) Write down a wish. (A realistic one).
ARE Y0U D0NE?
iF S0 SCR0LL D0WN.
(D0N'T CHEAT... iM WATCHiNG Y0U...)
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
...........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
....
...
..
.
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of
love.
Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid
back.
Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses
and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow- you are a very happy person and give
good advice to those who are down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in
your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum
and your love life is
soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love
life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and
you will discover that you fall in love with
someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love
relationship that will not last long but the
memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will
experience a major life changing experience for
the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great,
but eventually you will find your soul mate.
5. If you chose...
Black: Your life will take on a different
direction, it will seem hard at the time but
will be the best thing for you, and you will
be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely
confides in you and would do anything for you,
but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in
your lifetime.
8. If you chose:
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
9. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and to your
love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please
people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN
in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!
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| PUBLIC ANNOUNCMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Sat, Aug 13th, 05 @ 3:59am] |
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THIS IS TO ANYONE THAT DOESNT KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AT THE STUPID PARK FOR THAT SUPID MARCHING BAND PARTY(MEANING EVERYONE THAT KEEPS ON TALKING ABOUT IT, BCUZ THEY REALLY HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WAT HAPPENED)
1. ME AND AARON DIDNT MAKE OUT!
2. IF YOU CALL PUTTING A PECK ON SOMEONES LIPS MAKEING OUT...THEN YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS ISSUES!
3. WE WERE ONLY HOLDING HANDS, GIVING EACH OTHER PECKS ON THE LIPS, AND HUGGING. I WAS JUST SITTING NEXT TO HIM AND HE WAS HOLDING ME, AND THERE WAS LIKE NO KISSING GOING ON.
4. WE WERE NOT MOANING OR W.E EVERYONE ELSE IS TALKING ABOUT. THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN THINK OF THAT COULDVE BEEN ACTUALLY IDENTIFIED AS MOANING WAS THAT WE WERE WHISPERING. AND WHEN I WAS "MOANING" I WAS SITTING ON HIS LAP, AND THE MOST THAT I DID WAS JUST GIVE HIM A LITTLE PECK ON THE LIPS, CHEEK, NECK, AND EAR. THERE WAS NO MOANING FROM EITHER ONE OF US! (lol)
5. IF I HEAR ANYONE SAYING THAT SOMETHING ELSE OTHER THEN WHAT I JUST SAID THAT HAPPENED, I WOULD REALLY LOVE IT IF THEY SAID IT TO ME FIRST, BEFORE GOING AROUND TO EVERYONE AND TELLING THEM THEIR SIDE OF THE STORY.
6. I ALSO FOUND OUT THAT MANY PPL THAT WERENT EVEN NEAR ME OR AARON, WERE SAYING A LOT OF THINGS THAT WERENT EVEN CLOSE TO THE TRUTH (ITS USALLY ABOUT US MOANING AND MAKING OUT). FIRST OF I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU WOULD DO THAT. AND SECOND WTF IS UR PROBLEM?? THERE ARE ALSO MANY PPL THAT EVEN WERENT AT THE PARK TO BEGIN WITH THAT ARE SAYING SHIT.
7. THERES ANOTHER RUMOR GOING AROUND THAT ME AND AARON MADE OUT DURING MARCHING BAND CAMP. AGAIN THE MOST THAT WE DID WAS PECK! SINCE WHEN IS PECKING MAKING OUT?!?!?!?!?!?!
(and theres like a bunch of ppl that are literally sucking on each others faces, and yet...i'm the one thats talked about. god i love this!)
8. I WOULD REALLY LOVE IT IF YOU ALL WOULD QUIT UR GOD DAMN CRAP AND LEFT ME AND AARON ALONE. BECAUSE W.E IS GOING ON BETWEEN US IS JUST MINE AND HIS PROBLEM. UNLESS I CHOOSE TO TELL YOU, YOUR NOT GONNA KNOW WAT HAPPENS. (AND AS FOR EVERYONE THAT DOES KNOW WATS GOING ON WITH ME AND AARON, SHUT UP AND DONT TALK ABOUT IT TO ANYONE)
9. I REALLY HOPE THAT WHO EVER ACTUALLY IS STILL TALKING ABOUT THE PARK THING OR MARCHING BAND, ACTUALLY STOPS AFTER THIS. BCUZ I DONT APPRECIATE IT. AND THERE WERE WORSE THINGS GOING ON THEM ME AND AARON "MAKING OUT" AND "MOANING".
10. SAYING THIS ONCE AGAIN:
STAY OUT OF MINE AND AARONS BUSINESS. UNLESS I CHOOSE TO INCLUDE YOU AND LET YOU KNOW WATS GOING ON WITH MY LOVE LIFE, STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. WHATS BEEN HAPPENING, WATS GOING ON, AND WAT WILL HAPPEN BETWEEN ME AND AARON, IS BETWEEN ME AND AARON. UNLESS I OR HE CHOOSES TO TELL YOU. SO PLEASE SHUT UP. AND DONT MAKE ANY FUCKING ASSUMPTIONS. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!
AND AS FOR THE PEOPLE THAT DIDNT TALK ABOUT ME AND HIM. THANK YOU! thank you for not budding your nose into someone elses business.
AND IF ANYONE HAS A GOD DAMN OPINION THAT I SHOULDNT BE WITH AARON BCUZ MY RELATIONSHIP WITH JUSTIN JUST ENDED, PLZ SAVE IT FOR URSELF. BCUZ HONESTLY I DONT FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU THINK. (IT WASNT TO ANYONE SPECIFIC. JUST IN GENERAL)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
♥ ♥
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| this is kind of a continuination to my last journal entry about love..which was a LONG time along |
[Sat, Aug 13th, 05 @ 2:28am] |
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this poem describes love really well. and i just felt like sharing it with you all, since the last time i was talking about it. i couldnt think of the right way to describe it:
The meaning of love
To love is to share life together
To build special plans just for two
To work side by side
And then smile with pride
As one by one, dreams all come true
To love is to help and encourage
With smiles and sincere words of praise.
To take time to share
To listen and care
In tender, affectionate ways
To love is to have someone special
ONe who you can always depend
To be there through the years
Sharing laughter and tears
Asa partner, a lover a friend
To love is to make special memories
Of moments ou love to recall
Of all the good things
That sharing life brings
Love is the greatest of all.
I've learned the full meaning
Of sharing and caring
And having my dreams all come true,
I've learned the full meaning of being in love
By being and loving with you
-Kellie Spehn-
One of my favorite quotes from the notebook explains love really well too. or at least how one simple man felt about a woman. and all the love that he felt for her. its funny, bcuz u can hardly find love so pure, and passionate as theirs nowadays.
"The best love is the knd that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that what you've given me. That's what i'd hoped to give you forever."
- Exerpt from a letter from Noah to Allie-
its funny how no one expresses their love this way anymore. or actually takes time to write their loved one a hand written letter. sometimes the best way to describe your feelings are on paper. it doesnt even have to be in a poetic form. just as long as you let the other person know how much you really love and care for them.
Love is so very special
Yet can make you feel so lost
It can arrive just like the springtime
And melt away like morning frost
You must find ways to nurture
Always grow your love with care
Never ever take for granted
The love that you both share
Mistakes are bound to happen
You may hurt each others hearts
Yet dont give up to easily
It will tear your love apart
Love resembles a bright flame
That lights a dark starry night
Never ever let this flame burn down
Rekindle with all your might.
Take a moment everyday
Look deep into each others eyes
Never hesitate to show affection
Small gestures will keep a love alive.
Talk openly about your feelings
Take time to show that you care
Treasure each and every moment
Because to find true love is rare.
-Connie Thomas Lugo-
Thats like the best poem ever. Many ppl give up, and dont even try to work on things in their relationships. or sometimes they dont want to admit that they still may love someone, bcuz they dont want to risk getting their heart broken again. sometimes actually admitting it may come in ur favor. but only if you had a deep connection with them before. if you were postitively sure that they were the one that you wanted to be with. the one that you knew you'd die if you werent with them.
Sry beth, but i had to use this in here:
"Why do people get married? Because we need a witness to our lives. There's billions of people on this planet, what does one life mean? Why does anyone need marriage? In a marriage, your promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the undain things. All of it, all the time, everyday... Your saying that your life will not go unnoticed - Because I will notice it. Your saying your life will not go unwitnessed - Because I will be your witness."
-From the Movie "Shall We Dance" (Starring Susan Surrandon and Richard Gere)-
I love this quote! lol. i've never heard a better reason to why people actually do get married until i heard this quote. Nothing else explains it better. lol. again. sry beth! i really needed to use this for this entry! love you!!
Sry for boring you all with all of this. if you didnt read it. i dont rly blame you. but i just felt like sharing it with you guys. anyway. nighters.
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[Sat, Aug 13th, 05 @ 1:30am] |
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the sound of the keyboard keys being hit as i type on them |
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Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! lol...today was kindda fun.
um...........lets seeeeeeeeeeeee wat happened (sry for all of this..just a lil high on Mt.Dew. lol)
anyway. becky's staying over my house till sunday! yay! lol.wow..i rly AM a dork. lolz
well today, i woke up at like 8-ish, cuz my dog was crying outside my door, so i went to play with him. then i fell asleep on the living room couch. then becky woke up. and we ate breakfast. then my mom came home. then we went to Meijer's. then we came back home. we went online. talked to some pplz. then we went to becky's to pick up something that she left at her house. and then we went and picked up agnes cuz she usually stays at our house for the weekends. and then on our way back from agnes's we(me and becky) decided to go over justin's since we were gonna be bored anyway. and there we listend to music. then went over becky's again to let her doggie outside. while walking to her house, beth called me! i was SO excited! lol. havent talked to her in like EVER! so it was rly nice to hear from her. so while i was talking to her becky and justin ran to becky's house and locked me outside. jerk's lol. it was kindda funny tho. so i just ended up talking to beth on becky's porch for a lil while. then we went inside becky's house. and since becky's dad's car was parked in their driveway, we thought it be cool to take it for a drive. but he took his keys with him, so we couldnt. which sucked. then we walked back to justin's and there we listened to some more music. and then we decided to sing a few songs. then becky and justin started singing picture, and then i sang that with him. just cuz i could! and i sounded intune well...at the beginning. its rly hard to sing harmony, and she sings harmony at like the end of the song. then we ended up singing like a bunch of songs. then me and becky had to go home. and then when we got home we were talking to justin online again, and like making fun of me and just making fun of becky and her anorexia(not rly)lol. i love you becky! lol. and then he signed off and me and becky decided to update our journals. and i'm having a really bad cramp right now. damn it! lol. fuck and i'm not even on my goddamn period yet. ughh...i hate being a girl sometimes. lol. wow..well it beats having a penis and no brain! haha. lol. wow that was stupid. anyway. um..i'm really in the mood to watch the notebook. lol. me and becky were supposed to watch that today but we like never did. hopefully we'll watch it tomorrow. okay this is getting pointless now so i'm just gonna get going.
bye bye! love you all!!!!!
♥ ♥
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[Wed, Aug 10th, 05 @ 9:24pm] |
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to fall in love again - jessica simpson |
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hehe... isnt he just ADORABLE! lol
omg...i want one..badly...hehe...isnt he cute???
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[Mon, Aug 8th, 05 @ 9:46pm] |
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itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini |
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ee..lol. me, steph, justin and alex, went to the bowling thingy for marching band today. it was kindda fun. even tho me and justin kept on bikkering at each other. cuz i wouldnt quit whispering to steph. lol. wow. so much for not fighting anymore. lol. actually i dont think that we can EVER stop fighting. thats kindda like our thing. god, we were fighting ever since we first met. lol. anyway, after steph, justin, and alex bowled 3 games (i ended up giving up on it) we went over justin's and just hung out. it was kindda fun i gues. things are FINALLY getting better. lol it wasnt as awkward as it was that one friday. good. cuz i couldnt stand that. lol. me and steph started dancing and justin was like freaking out about everything. wow that was great. lol. then alex started tickling me and i thought i was going to kill him, but i got over it. and then i got home, and i'm here updating right now. lol. wow i'm a huge dork. lol. i'm soo tired. lol. but i dont wanna go to sleep...anyway..i'm gonna go cuz this is starting to get stupid. bye bye! ♥ you all!!
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| sry beth. i just HAD to put it in here... |
[Mon, Aug 8th, 05 @ 9:41pm] |
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miss independant (lol now its stuck in my head, thx justin) |
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dear boys:
Tell her you think shes cool.
Tell her why you think shes so cool.
Smell her hair.
Talk to her in movie theatres.
Hold her hand.
Just hold her hand.
Pick flowers
Tell her she's pretty.
Let her pay if she wants to.
Introduce her to your friends
as The coolest girl you know.
Sit in the park and talk to her.
JUST TALK TO HER.
TELL HER HAPPY STORIES.
TELL HER SAD STORIES.
TELL HER YOUR STORIES.
TELL HER ANYTHING
Tell her stupid jokes.
Write poems about her.
Just walk with her.
When she starts swearing at you,
... tell her you love her.
Take her to shows of
bands shes never
heard of.
Hold her hand in the mosh pit.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Call her.
Call her back if she calls you.
Sing to her,
no matter how
bad you are.
Carve your names into a tree.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Give her piggy-back rides.
Go see her band play even
if they really suck,
and tell her they were great.
Give her space if she needs it.
Push her on swings.
Stay up with her all night when shes sick.
Make up pet names for her,
but cool ones, not sappy ones.
Teach her guitar.
Lend her your cds.
Write on her.
WRITE ABOUT HER.
Make her mixtapes.
Write her letters.
Take her to cool shops,
and let her take you to even cooler ones.
Just hang out
with her.
Listen to all the
bands she mentions.
Dont tell her that her favorite bands suck.
When shes sad,
hang out with her
or
stay on the
phone with her,
even if shes not saying anything.
Buy her ice cream.
Let her take all the photos of you she wants.
Look into her eyes.
Slow dance with her,
even if the music is fast.
TELL HER A SECRET.
Kiss her in the rain...
kiss her hand...
kiss her neck...
kiss her forhead....
kiss her nose...
JUST KISS HER.
HUG HER.
TRUST HER.
LOVE HER.
BE YOURSELF AROUND HER.
CHERISH HER
. . . and when you fall in love with her TELL HER.
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| another pointless entry... |
[Sun, Aug 7th, 05 @ 10:50pm] |
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if your not the one - Daniel Bedingfield |
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If your not the one
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
just felt like sharing this with you guys. and no i'm not turining into becky, where most of my entry's are song lyrics ( i ♥ u becky!lol, i just felt like posting it here, bcuz i'm bored. and bcuz i just TOTALLY love this song...its soooooooo pretty...god i wish that they could play that at one of our school dances. that be SO sweet to dance to. and so cute too! :) lol. well i'm done rambling on. and i'll just go. lol. bye ya'll love ya!
♥ ♥
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[Sun, Aug 7th, 05 @ 3:26pm] |
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hello this is magda and stephanie!!! we love pudding and howie bread lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love us
pudding and howie!!!!!
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[Sat, Aug 6th, 05 @ 4:34pm] |
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Sway Michael Buble |
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why do people say i love you, when they dont mean it? and how do u kno that your really in love with a certain someone. and that their your soulmate? how can you tell that your meant to be with that person? or how do u kno that maybe their supposed to be just another relationship before the real thing?
and how come people always find little things that bug them about the other person on their wedding day, instead of thinking about the wonderful times that they had together? and the great times that they will?
but, how can you really tell that when someone says i love you to you, they mean it with all of their heart. and they really dont want to live without you. and their not just saying that bcuz they want something from you. but bcuz they really, truely, and deeply love you. bcuz they want to spend the rest of their life together. because they want you by their side. because they feel like your the one for them, and no one else. and that they will always feel that way. that they wont change their mind after a few months, few weeks, or a few days.
How come people give up on real, pure, passionate love, just because of some little thing, like one of ur loved ones not liking them. or them not having enough money, and you'll have to struggle with it in the future. but they love each other. so isnt that a lot more important then money, or anything else? isnt the most important thing in life to find someone that you deeply love, and to spend the rest of your life with them "in sickness and in health. for poorer or for richer"?? why else would they make you promise that on you wedding?! so why do they just give up, and find someone else bcuz it just seems "practical" to be with them. and "a lot easier"??? why wont they just be with the one that they love? the one that makes all of their troubles disappear, with just a smile, or a simple touch.
Why wont they just stay with the one, that truelly loves them? Is it because they dont kno that they love them? bcuz their afraid that they'll make a mistake for being with them. because their afraid that the other person will get tired of them?
and isnt it sad, when someone loves you, and you tell them that maybe ur not ready yet. and that if you do end up being with them. you may just be doing that just to get over ur other "love" or ur other relationship? but they still say that they dont care if you use them, bcuz at least you'll be using them. meaning that they will be able to call you theirs. love you and show you how much they love you, even tho you may not love them back the same way. or not love them at all???
But isnt it amazing, when two people actually do feel exactly the same way. and they have the most magical love. and they dont care wat anyone thinks, wat may happen to them in the future. bcuz all their doing is taking one day at a time. and just being happy for being together, and thanking their lucky stars, that they actually found each other.
Sometimes, people feel that way about eachother even when their really not supposed to be together, and when their not eachothers "soulmates". bcuz they end their realationship bcuz of a stupid little fight. or bcuz of a stupid little reason. and they lose contact. and they realize that watever time they were together, wasnt all a waste of time. bcuz that just made them open up their eyes. sometimes break ups like that, make people think that they'll never find anyone to love, or anyone to love them back. and they just give up on it. and they really dont find anyone. or love just happens to come to them.even tho they dont want it. Theres this really great quote that should prolly make everyones fears that are afraid of commitment go away "Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for them."
Sometimes love even comes to you when you really dont want it. when all you want is to be alone for a little while. to catch your breaht. but you just happen to run into someone that clouds ur head with little cute sayings. and little romantic gestures. and your in for it again. but yet ur still trying to fight it. bcuz u dont want it to happen again. u dont want that painful feeling in ur heart again. u dont want to wake up the next morning already thinking about them. or dreaming about them in ur dreams. all you want is to forget about all of it. the love. the happiness that you can have with another. all you want is just a tiny little break from it all. but then you start thinking, "wat if i'm supposed to be with him. if i push him away, then i'll never find happiness again." or "maybe its not real. maybe he just wants something from me, that i wont give to him. bcuz i dont think of him that way." and you find your answer.
you finally figure out wat it is that you were looking for. but then something else comes to your head. and ur as confused and lost as you were before.
then you think of the great times from ur old relationship. and you cant help but want that. then again, how could u not want to feel loved by someone? feel wanted. how could you not want someone that can make you feel like the most beautiful creature in the world. and how could you not want someone that will only have eyes for you?
so your left confused, and lost, and alone. just like you were in the beginning...
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| one of my pointless entry's |
[Fri, Aug 5th, 05 @ 10:33pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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build me up buttercup |
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remember how in "on the edge", or in mrs. paklians words "OVER the edge", we read that one poem? lol thats a great wat to remind ppl about it. anyway i have it! and i like so love it. so here it is::
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost
I am hopeless
It isnt my fault
It takes forever to find a way out
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend i dont see it
I fall in again,
I cant believe i am in the same place
But it isnt my fault
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there
I still fall in, its a habit
My eyes are open
I know where i am
It is my fault
I get out immediately
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hoe in the sidewalk
I walk around it
I walk down another street.
aww i miss on the edge. i cant till it starts again this year. hopefully we'll actually have it this year. we better be! lol.
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[Thu, Aug 4th, 05 @ 7:13pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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Only You - Enrique Iglesias |
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i was reading this letter earlier by heywelcomehome, and omg. it was just so beautiful. and a lot of wat he wrote is so completely true, its weird. like:
"How does a man simmer down the
cosmic creation of a volcano? How does a woman simmer down the infinite
warmth of the sun?? With a simple request? Was his love a true, lasting
love? Or was it simply an infatuation that could be easily simmered down
to a friendship upon request?"
that is so true. you cant just stop loving someone and become their friend, when your in love with someone thats impossible. unless your really not inlove with them, but you THOUGHT you were. then its a different story.
I really like this too:
"Its strange, my love for you has made me feel better about life than
I've felt in years. If you are not here with me now, then I must come
realize that is how destiny meant it be and I should not wish for
anything more."
but i think i like this one the most:
There is a greek proverb that says:
"It's not good for all of our wishes to be fulfilled. Through sickness,
we recognize the value of health; through evil, the value of good;
through hunger, the value of food; through exertion, the value of rest."
He made a really good point with this one. you cant have everything, bcuz then we REALLY wouldnt be able to appreciate things.
But out of all of those things that i posted this one stands out the most. and this is extremely true:
There are so many things that need to be considered. Jobs, medical costs, the costs and availabity of her nursing schools (as you know not all twons have nearby nursing schools), transportation costs (which I detailed are already an issue) college loans, people's feelings and definitely things such as what a person's family has to think of the whole relationship and a whole lot of other issues. These are all issues that have always stopped people throughout time from getting together, even though they really want to be together. Some people even stay in a bad relationship simply because they are scared to get into another relationship or they are scared that all the time they put into their current relationship will just be wasted time (said that bcuz the girl that he loves lives a cross the country and she's with another guy. and bcuz of all the reasons that he just mentioned its really hard for them to be together, especially since she prolly doesnt love him the same way. hence the part that she's with another guy)
anyway...this is really true. bcuz many relationships end bcuz of something stupid, like a family member not liking the person that you love. or there not being any way for you two to be together, bcuz it seems like everything in the world is keeping both of you apart from eachother.
anyway. i just felt like sharing this with you guyz bcuz it was REALLY beautiful. and i didnt post the whole letter bcuz it was just WAY too long and i knew that none of you would actually read it. so i just kept that to myself. lol. if you do want to read it just go and check that persons lj out. wow...this was a long post. well i'll talk to you all later. bye! ♥♥
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| hee...i found a new song to obsessed over with. lol actually i've been obsessed with this song ever |
[Wed, Aug 3rd, 05 @ 5:22pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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A moment like this - Kelly Clarkson(still fine) |
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Na...ah...ah...
Na...ah...ah...mmm...
Mmm...mmm...mmm...
I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If its wrong to love you
Then my heart just wont let me be right
Cause Ive drowned in you and I wont pull through
Without you by my side
Id give my all to have
Just one more night with you
Id risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I cant go on
Livin in the memory of our song
Id give my all for your love tonight
Baby, can you feel me
Imagining Im looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet youre so far like a distant star
Im wishing on tonight
Id give my all to have
Just one more night with you
Id risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I cant go on
Living in the memory of our song
Id give my all for your love tonight
Na...ooh...ooh...
Ooh...ooh...ooh...
Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...
Ooh...ooh...ooh...
Na...ooh...ooh...
Id give my all to have
Just one more night with you
Id risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I cant go on
Living in the memory of our song
Id give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight
Id give my all for your love
Tonight
hee...i found a new song to obsessed over with. lol actually i've been obsessed with this song ever since i got the Mariah Carey cd from beth that a certain someone forgot and never got it back till like a few months later. lol.
well i'm off...bye and love you all!!
♥♥
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[Sun, Jul 31st, 05 @ 6:27pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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If your not the one - Daniel Badingfield |
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Tell me you care
Kiss me even when you think i'm gonna push you away
Dance with me when theres no music playing
Whisper the words "i love you" in my ear every chance you get
Tell me I'm beautiful even though i look horrible
Hold me when i'm crying
Kiss my cheeks everytime you see me
Play with my hair
When you think that theres something wrong
Keep on asking me until i teel you
Lay next to me and just hold me in your arms
Tell me wats on ur mind at that very moment
And hold me like you never want to let go...
hehe i wrote it like a long time ago and i just found it today when i was cleaning my desk. its SO cute! i cant believe that i wrote something like this! lol. wow...i'm like so concieted its unbelievable...anyway..i just felt like sharing that with you guys cuz its CUTE! lol...wow hehe
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[Fri, Jul 29th, 05 @ 9:42pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry..lol |
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music |
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moment like this(i can actually listen 2 it now w/o crying) |
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( just cuz i can )
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